It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
