You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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