Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
