I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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