Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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