Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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