I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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