Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I love you. Go after that dick
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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