literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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