you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize