i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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