maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
