so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
