He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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