I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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