don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
