Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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