took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
