Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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