She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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