I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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