She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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