If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
