i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
