gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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