Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
