I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
