You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
