I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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