i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize