We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize