We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My feet surprised me
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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