I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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