it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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