Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
