Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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