I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
