how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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