the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
