Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
