i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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