Where did you get a picture of my penis
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
