ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
