Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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