Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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