Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
