Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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