Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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