I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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