just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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