Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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