shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
