so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize