Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Church boner. Awkwardddd
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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