Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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