I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
