Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Randomize
