talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
