It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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