hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
