How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
