sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
