I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
