Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
ok first of all what the fuck
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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