Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
