Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
