you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
