If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's rum buckets o'clock
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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